tea & thankfulness

tea…

i like to drink it

hot

or cold

iced

or sweet

with lemon

or

with honey

or

plain…

I like English Tea

and Asian tea

and all sorts of happy little herbal teas.

I like it blended

I like it straight

I like it decaf

and when it ain't..

and when my man comes home

coughing and blue

the kettle starts brewing overtime 

little man tested NEGATIVE for strep

but has a wee cough..

perhaps allergies..

but now

the MR & I have a tickle

and a icky feeling in our chests…

SO not what I need to heal..

or not what I think I need.. 

Maybe I do need to be FLAT out

to actually rest more

because I tend..

to do a bit

more

than

people SAY I should be doing.

Maybe I need just broth

and tea

and sleep and sleep and sleep

and sleep

because goodness KNOWS

It's all I want to do right now..

having a weak immune system SUCKS..

POTS

HASHIMOTO's

Chronic LYME  (in remission PRAISE JESUS)

all mean.. 

slow down

take care

sip tea

nap

and frankly I DON"T WANT TO!

I want to go…

I want to sand my tables

stain the tops a deep brown

and paint their bases

Chateau grey..

yes!

I want..

to climb a ladder and PAINT that wall that just got built..

and.. start the trim

to be able to put in the lexan for the windows..

I WANT

to clean up my front yard…

and my back yard..

and

if you WANT me to be TOTALLY honest on this blog

really really RAW honest..

I want to smash my kitchen and gut it…

and start from scratch..

I WANT the property brothers to just sort of come over

and FIX that room with me..

but

I don't ACTUALLY have money to do any of that right now..

except the tables (supplies bought)

and cleaning up the yard..

and the wall..

but I am too wobbly for the wall..

so I sit.

and stir my tea..

Ginger Tea with Raw Honey 

Honey given to me by a friend who has a hive locally ..

THANK YOU !

and I strive to just

be so CONTENT

and THANKFUL

that I remember the things I want to do..

I just had 

GAMMA KNIFE brain surgery..

thinking 

that very fact that I remember..

is 

freaking AMAZING!

and I am holding on to the JOY

that I can

SEE all the things 

that I still want to do..

which is so so so beautiful..

ok.

so my spacial awareness is off a bit still..

bumping into things..

missing things..

dropping things…

spilling things..

it SHOULD all improve..

and  

I CAN SEE

I am NOT blind

and I 

AM

so 

very 

very 

thankful.

the third thing that I am thankful for..

is that I care..

It's a sign

that I am NOT in some great state of depression..

I might get very blue..

but they are blue moments..

like accents in a room..

splashes of color on a painting..

that is not absorbing me

filling me

consuming me.

because I see,

and dream

and hope

and want

and look SO forward to

.. 

and that

is a good thing..

so..

I suppose .. I should be thankful for the ..
whatever has entered this home..
 thankful Rob is well enough to go to his very important & demanding job.
Thankful he loves me, and comes home to me, and sleeps next to me on the couch,
 coughing his terrible cough, sneezing his terrible sneeze..
Thankful for little mans sharing.. of EVERY bodily fluid that is in him..

Thankful for the short season that they are still….

ALL in this crazy tight home

squashed like sardines

stepping on one another..

and LOVING me

because I AM NOT an easy person to love..

and they do.

and I love them

all so very very much too..