Monday, May 4, 2015

broken worship

the battles we face here…
they are hard, they are real and they are exhausting.
the roads to get here
and unending…
and just when we think we are close to this final battle…
just when it seems there is but one more hill to climb..
there is revealed but more…
more hills to climb..
more battles to fight..
more prayers to pray,
weeping and wailing to be had,
so it is,
 when your eyes are fixed..
and FOCUSED...
so it is,
 when you have a purpose..
when the terrain is ever changing..
the seasons unknowable and demanding of you…
but with each deep valley
dark and treacherous,
and full of every fear and nightmare..
full of attacks from the enemy…
 the enemy is dressed as one of your own..
When there in the path
suddenly gives way to a 
however low, or high..
however brief..
and with it 
we stand triumphant..
for however long..
and it is there on what ever rise
out of the lowest place we may have yet ever have been in,
we can lift our voices and worship

find that time to worship..
worship is difficult for some of us here…
The modern way of amping up the bass, 
causes vestibular issues with in the brain and inner ear
causing imbalance and extreme brain pain in 3 of the 6 of us,
and joining in during regular worship service is next to impossible.
We've only found a few churches that refuse to allow their soundboard to torture
the vestibular system in this way.
None of those churches that we have found are close to us to attend regularly.
We realize it is a fad, it has little to do with the actual worship music itself, 
as we are a musical family…
we know, that this fad will pass...
so we worship at home,
in the car,
on the porch,
whenever we can.
at least that is my motto..
lift my voice 
SHOUT to the LORD!
for HE is good
His love endures forever !!!

Sunday, May 3, 2015


what happens…
AFTER the forgiveness..
after the confession..
after the acknowledgment of your suffering..
after the 
"I'm sorry"
" I was so wrong"
What happens 
AFTER you forgive?
What happens 
when you choose to forgive
even if those words never happen to be spoken?

You can forgive someone.
and they may NEVER ask for it..,
never deserve it,
never own it…
You can give it..
because Christ gave it to you..
He gave you forgiveness
so you can GIVE it away freely…
and just like you,
it's totally up to them if they …
accept that..
the point is..
because forgiveness
is meant to be 
this free thing,
light and easy,
not heavy and burdened,
(that heavy thing is sin)
What happens if you DO NOT forgive..
is the chained up 
tied up 
bound up
rots deep inside you..
bitterness begins to grow
and we all know what fruit that bears.
It bears the fruit of hatred...

so what happens?
AFTER the forgiveness?
It's called 
have the opportunity to be redeemed
or restored.
There are times neither can happen.
forgivenss is all that will happen.
In Christ,
we know,
the HOPE to be
To seek
see what was knocked down, broken and hurt…
Restored to NEW
or better than NEW …
Like your old home being fixed up..
The Relationship experiences some sort of trauma
some "earthquake or fire damage"
but together,
in Christ
you demolish what was ruined, 
and rebuild.
It's a RESTORATION of something old,
something of significant value.
because YOU,
your relationships
are of value.
YOU are the body of Christ.
You are to be spotless and unblemished.
Holy, because HE is HOLY.
It's why we hold one another accountable.
We are all preparing for that great day.
The wedding day.
Our eyes should be fixed on the groom,
our King,
our JESUS.

Its the WHY behind accountability amongst believers…
It's why people who don't KNOW or READ the Holy Scriptures
tend to think "all Christians" are so Judgy…
In all honesty… some are..
But.. some unbelievers are too…
I am not writing about those here today..
I am writing about the passage in scripture that MOST 
convicts me,
and frightens me.

15“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16“You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17“So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. 18“A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, nor can a bad tree produce good fruit. 19“Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20“So then, you will know them by their fruits.
      21“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. 22“Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ 23“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; DEPART FROM ME, YOU WHO PRACTICE LAWLESSNESS.’

Jesus, IN HIS OWN WORDS tells us, that we will,
WE WILL, know them by their own fruits..
ok, so maybe not judgey,
but clearly we need to be fruit inspectors…
He also says we need to CAST out the bad fruit bearers…
we should BEWARE  of these "ravenous wolves"
He does NOT say we should entertain them,
or "church" them.
He does say
"he who does the will of my Father in heaven will enter"
but to those who practice "lawlessness"
He will say, HE never knew them…
I do not want Him to turn me away.
or you.
I will
LOVE you enough to speak and write truth…
I firmly believe
we MUST love again.
and I don't know that the Church KNOWS what that means
anymore in a biblical sense.

We simply MUST call people out 
when their sin is 
causing THEM to be
separated in their walk from God..
as well as
others to stumble in their walk with God,
not to mention
causing PAIN and suffering to the body of Christ..
We can NOT turn a blind eye,
to those in need,
we can not pretend away the suffering of those
LITERALLY standing before us,
and the mocking of the ill, infirm, and grieved, 
must stop! 
All abuse within the Community of Believers;
to be called out.
NEEDS to be ended.
Now, not everything is abuse.
not everyone is going to be our friend
or like us.
That is not what I am referring to.
It is time,
NOW is the time,
for the believers and followers of Jesus Christ
the wolves in the Church.
be bold.
be strong
be courageous.
The battle IS real.

The wolves ARE hiding amongst you,
preying on your children
your husbands,
your wives,
your brothers,
your sisters..
they are HUNTING them down,
these people you love…

will you stop the pretending,
Stop the entertaining of demons?
WHEN will you pick up the WORD?
Become more discerning,
learn how to handle the sword?
When will you actively and lovingly
your faith,
your family,
your community.
THOSE people
are the 
that GOD 
has put in your path to love?
to tend to,
to care for,
and pray for..
STOP enabling
and START engaging..
Their LIVES,
their SOULS
their hearts,
may be in the balance...

YOU are in SIN

it's time we all wake up
and walk 
or stumble
or crawl after 
and stop doing 

When we all start to just do that simple thing…
the simple things that JESUS said to do..
 And He said to him, 
In Matthew 22-37-39
“‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, 
and with all your mind.’
 38 This is the great and [a]foremost commandment. 
39 The second is like it, 
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

so go..
LOVE your neighbor
forgive your neighbor,
get to know your neighbor,
be kind,
and patient,
not jealous
certainly not boastful,
stop with that rude stuff,
start believing people for who they say they are
and believe and HOPE more
suck it up 
and endure the hard stuff…
don't whine,
complain and gossip…
because LOVE never fails..
GOD is love
He calls you to LOVE
HE calls YOU to Himself,
and calls you to 
and all these people…
before you set off
and head out to do your "missions"
and your "ministry"…
you do ANYTHING else...
make sure
you REALLY love GOD
and only THEN
will we start to see
I know, 
all of this is hard to read…
and perhaps 
you didn't even get this far…
perhaps you think I am 
hard and mean,
a little self righteous…
put the breaks on the judgey thing friends..
I am a broken girl
seeing something
that so many around me are blind to…
and so many I love dearly are experiencing  
and really grieved and pained by..
but are not bold enough to speak up about
being me lately …
it seems to be
both a blessing
and a curse…
and I am praying for
in the body of Christ..
will you join me?