battles.. and pain

I woke to little peep hole where my eyes were.. 

they are swollen on the inside.. 

swollen on the tops and outside

AND underneath..

but I CAN see.. It's uncomfortable… but… I am alive…

I washed my eyes out and washed them eyes out.. it didn't visibly make any difference.. but it felt good.. 

next we will try tea bags on them.. Princess is soaking them now.

she is slicing cucumber to freeze

and we have frozen wash clothes going on too.

my head aches.. my whole neck is sore

but I am alive

i woke to LOUD little boys JUMPING on the bed screaming about my eyes..

smothering me in kisses

and it was LOVE.. a painful.. awful form of love

but I am alive.. and they love me…

God is good… every day

will post when we try these crazy home made concoctions 

1 hour later

It seems the intense skull numbness

the pain

the facial swelling to this extreme

are all quite in the realm of "normal" …

well.. ok then…

seems part of it is from the meds they insert into you.. 

so that you do not enjoy the FULL effects of having a HALO screwed into your skull

are eventually going to succumb to gravity..

and now.. all of me is swelling… 

it's pretty awful..

and THANK YOU so much to the new legislation in effect…

IF i want pain meds… the doctor is NO LONGER able to call in the meds for me.. 

I HAVE TO GO BACK to Chicago to get them..

because BIG government presumes we are ALL drug addicts…

bless the Lord oh my soul

and ALL that is with in me.. 

grace and mercy on those powers that be that made this the new 

"law of the Land"

May the Lord CONTINUE to give me peace and strength…

thank you JESUS for your mercy, lovingkindness and compassion fail NOT…

patiently waiting on the Lord…

hoping… 

praying

trusting

feeling a bit broken…

clinging 

grasping…

when will they bring relief..

how could this have happened?

Jesus YOU have a plan

and yet…

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