when.. I write…

I write.. 

I write about my heart

my life

my experiences.

sometimes the things I write about

will touch you…

they are meant to.

Sometimes they will reach in to your heart

and you will feel what I feel..

or be shocked,

that I could feel what you feel.

other times

you will be offended..

because you will feel 

slighted,

hurt,

insulted,

feeling very much like I am writing

specifically about you.

There will be other times you read my words

and you really, just can't relate at all.

Still, I will write.

Writing is what I do.

Perhaps I don't write well.

Writing well, it's really not the point.

I need to write.

I need to write HONESTLY,

about life, about my experiences,

about my heart,

about my observations.

I need to write, like I need to breath.

I need my keyboard,

or pencil and paper.

I can not help it.

In all honesty

Words take MORE effort than they used to..

I try to sprinkle MORE grace

because I certainly NEED more grace..

If I write something,

and my words make YOU feel uncertain ..

make YOU question 

OUR

relationship..

make you question 

whether or not you have

said, or done, or been a little

less than your 

OPTIMAL

you..

I want you to know 

THIS 

about me.

don't.

I have 

NEVER 

used this blog to vent

about 

ANY 

one singular person.

THIS blog

is NOT about 

YOU.

I write in generalizations

for a reason.

TO protect the innocent

and the guilty.

Fact is.. if you are my friend..

YOU are a HUMAN

and chances are you mess up,

AS much as ME..

and need protecting,

JUST for being my friend

or family member..

because OH MY…

I write!!

so..

If a circumstance comes up..

and someone says something 

"stupid"

I let it go..

REALLY!!!

If it's the something

that I have heard 15 times before

well then..

I write about it..

IF

by chance..

I have also seen that SAME thing 

chatted about in a support group

after support group..

you BET

I write about it..

If you happened to be a person

IN my life

who said that "stupid" thing..

and then

 saw it on THIS blog

or saw it on 

"overcoming moriarty" fb site

please…

PLEASE

don't get your undies in a bunch..

it means

you are in VERY good company.

IT means

LOTS of folks

say 

stupid things

JUST like you.

In fact…

I may have said the same thing at one point.

I often rebuke myself..

in case you haven't noticed..

SO

Let's go over some 

BASICS 

here

***

I have walked the death walk 

of Cancer 5 times..

2 times

VERY intimately

with my Mother

who was my best friend

and then

with my Father

who was my OTHER bestest friend.

They got to hear some really stupid things..

Which means I got to hear 

all about those things..

***

I have an adopted child

who has some unique challenges..

believe me when I tell you..

people say REALLY 

hurtful

STUPID things

they do not mean to..

but they do

it's HUMAN to do so..

I got over it a LONG time ago..

seriously..

so should you..

but I won't pretend their words were 

anything BUT exactly that.

***

5 of the 6 of us went through 

LYME Disease

along with different Co-Infections..

and THAT was a freakish nightmare..

believe me..

these are just the HIGHLIGHTS

of some of what life has had for me..

and 

people

SAY stupid things

and IF you happen

to read 

YOUR 

stupid on this blog...

suck it up buttercup

I love ya anyways…

more importantly 

GOD 

loves 

YOU

we

have 

all 

said 

stupid words..

been 

stupid… 

done stupid..

The key is..

to learning from the stupid 

& choosing to grow..

NOT pretending it was smart..

or loving..

or compassionate..

or in the best interest of…

just… admission of stupid..

it's a humbling thing..

we do with God..

So

IF you feel like you're walking on egg shells 

around me because of THIS blog

and MY writing..

afraid of what I will write next..

afraid you are doing something wrong..

JUST remember..

you have to crack a few eggs

if you are gonna bake a cake!

so lets get baking

and get over

ourselves..

learning and growing in 

grace and truth

Let's face it..

You are either MY friend..

or MY family member..

OR

 you are reading this

because you have someone in your life

OR

 are someone

that is struggling with a health matter

that relates to my health issue

and 

you are drawing from this in some way…

THIS is new.

new to you.

new to me.

I am living a NEW normal.

I can't live up to 

ANYONE's 

expectations;

anyone's standards.

I have a 

new normal..

and walking by grace

is taking on a whole new 

defining view to me..

I am stumbling after Jesus..

falling often,

but moving forward none the less.

my words are mine.

about MY life experience.

a journaling of my adventure in Christ

and my dealings with humanity..

it's not meant to wound you.

but to bless you.

YOU are loved.