Inside… looking out

from the 

INSIDE

looking 

OUT

yes.. I know.. you are used to reading stories all about 

people who are left out.. 

people who are on the outside of a situation looking in..

wishing they are on the inside..

maybe that is what you are doing..

when you read this blog

you are my friend

or family member

or maybe

PERHAPS 

you have never even met me..

perhaps a friend told you about this blog

or you've just stumbled across it

so you identify 

with the age old story of the hero/heroine being on the 

outside.. looking in…

That, is not the story being told here today.

This is my world. My blog. My brain. 

Moriarty is the villian that lives in brain…he is MY tumor.

the people mentioned in this blog, are the people of my life..

the cast of characters in the story… of my life...

The Main settings are a house in a city outside a BIGGER city

and a farm house in the country… far from any city, miles from a town..

Todays post

todays pictures

are from that Farmhouse

and I ..

I am on the Inside.. and I am looking out..

I feel like that a lot.. 

at the farm house and the city house…

trapped inside a body that is NOT working like it should

hiding behind eyes that see a world I once interacted with…

once… engaged with.. so differently than I do now…

Living with chronic illness is isolating…

it can be..

 lonely

but, one learns oneself;

and, one learns about others.

One also learns about God, if ...one is a person

who chooses to learn at all.

It is from a window that I can learn about the seasons,

about the weather, and the migration of birds…

but sometimes,

looking out the window means

not seeing anything, but exactly what God has put out for me to see.

Sometimes

HE wants me to see 

ONLY

that which HE wants me to see..

SOMETIMES

He wants my eyes to be 

FIXED on Him.

For me to glory in HIS magesty

Sometimes

He paints me pictures

so I don't feel lonely 

when they've all left me home alone

while they've gone off to play in the woods

or hunt or what ever

He etches the old glass

with the most beautiful pictures

they are different each morning

if I touch the glass

they disappear

when the sun hits the window…

they disappear..

He never does this in the city house

the glass.. it is new.. fancy glass

Machine Man 

My beloved Husband talks about 

upgrading the windows in the 

"old farmhouse"

making the place more..

"energy efficient"

he .. 

he doesn't know that 

God etches me artwork on my glass 

on lonely winter mornings..

to remind me..

that 

even thought I am a work in progress…

and I may be in this.. fragile state…

and some folks may not understand..

and some days my people are off

living exciting adventures

while I..

I am on the inside looking out..

out on the beautiful wonderful world...

and some days MAY feel lonesome

God is with me..

He has never left me

never will…

and so..

I put off my beloved…

and remind him of the charm of the old windows..

how they work fine.

how many other things need fixing..

because 

God's finger

still writes on surfaces friends..

we just need to look 

at how 

HE writes…

etches

of artwork 

so beautiful

sometimes it's that different perspective

that changes

everything for us