drink it in…

I am parched.

A girl in a dry and 

WEARY LAND.

exhausted

and fatigued..

This week.. 

well..

the past few weeks…

I have had this cold…

flu..

THING..

and every time, I start to get better..

some human

(GOD BLESS YOU ALL)

hands me yet another version of it…

probably my children..

once my husband..

perhaps some nameless person at the grocer's?

oh well..

we have established how stellar my immune system is?

well yes.. there is that.

but my week ahead..

this on and the next..

look a bit like this trail

and HEAVING my wee SELF up each step..

is a bit of an effort..

in fact, EVERY little thing..

FEELS like an effort.

A sinus infection

on top of my tumor..

IS SO MUCH WORSE

than ever before…

somehow,

my brain feels so 

wounded and tender…

(YES it could be IN my head.. I COULD Be imagining it)

I am a big fat baby!

I can't THINK clear

my eyes BURN

post nasal UGH

make me cough and my throat is 

RAW…

again!

I am dry..

drying OUT ..

it's awful..

seriously

this is on and off for about 6 weeks..

I need FRESH air..

I hate this dryness of my home..

so we bought a humidify thing..

it helps but.. only a little

I WANT FRESH AIR…

but living in Northern Illinois

means…

IF I open the windows

I FREEZE my face off

and fingers and toes..

and that of my children..

so husband won't allow it…

it's HORRID!!!

(insert dramatic cry)

During the SAME time..

but perhaps a bit longer…

My very sexy husband,

Machine Man himself

has had a back injury..

so WE are a sight for sore eyes..

sad old cronies…

with a TON going on

every day!

we fight for the heating pad..

why we have not bought another..

escapes me..

alas..

we are silly, and madly in love..

(emphasis on madly … but only this week)

The next few days..

(big clear throat)

perhaps 2-3 weeks..

are pretty non stop here..

and the trail will be pretty harsh…

going from that above

to

certainly not the deadliest 

most treacherous trail we've been on..

but CRAZY…

exhausting

non the less..

and all that 

whilst pretty wiped out..

GOD is great..

and every single day here 

REALLY is

ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

(think of the song)

(comment if you know the movie)

you don't want to .. 

RUN with small children down this trail…

watch where you go..

careful with your steps..

and some days..

we get pretty gosh darn discouraged.

we TRY to remind ourselves..

lots of kid things.

LOTs of doctor things..

lot's of things that overwhelm…,

the me part of the us..,

and put a lot of pressure on the him part of the us..

I can't express more to how I am so thankful for my husband...

YET, as hard as things are some days..

we've been through  harder days than these…

and truth be told… the days ahead...may be harder still..

but we can hold fast,

to one another,

and to Christ,

because we HAVE hope..

we have held on so long.

why let go NOW?

so the weeks ahead… 

MAY

look daunting..

the calendar jam packed and bursting at it's lines…

Appointments over booked..,

babysitters in need..,

trips and procedures needed rescheduling..,

 And, it's all quite..

overwhelming,

exhausting,

tiresome,

and

yet, He has this..

I lift up my LIFE to Jesus Christ..

Author and perfecter of my faith..

seriously..

there is NO way I could do it all..

I can't even write about it all without sobbing…

so I get all general here on this blog.

 Some day..

the trails down the mountain.. will look more like that..

I will lie in green pastures..

and HE will restore MY weary soul…

dreaming of summer

and lemonade on a porch,

music and laughter,

and BBQ on the grill, 

catch firefly's in a jar,

roast  marshmallow's round the fire pit..

I am 

dreaming of sweet times of fellowship

when breaks from these trials come..

because

the breaks do come..

sometimes they are not as long as we wish them to be

but they do come..

so we try to drink them in when they come…

those butterflies

and 

smell of fresh mowed lawns

roses blooming

lavender

and daisies in the field..

bicycle rides

and giggles on long long walks…

maybe it will last the summer..

maybe one Sunday afternoon..

but it's coming..

and I am eagerly awaiting

my time of refreshment 

with the Lord

I am going to 

DRINK

IT 

IN

because 

I AM THIRSTY

p.s. you all must know… I want you to know, as a hiker, I would much rather be actually hiking these trails than be on this spiritual hike… not my choice